Lily Jo's Eulogy
written by Joanne Baranello "Mema", Lily's Grandma
Thank you, your excellency, Msgr. Bergin and fathers. Thank you all for your kindness, compassion and support during this most difficult time in our lives. I know so many of you through social media (Facebook and Instagram) know our Lily Jo. You have watched our “Lily” from the day she was born. We all got to see her beautiful smile every day. But I want you to know more than just a pretty chubby face. In her two short yet so full years, baby Lily Jo has touched so many lives by her dynamic, infectious personality and lust and zeal for life.
She brought out the best in people during her life and will continue to do so even in her passing, and we are so thankful for that.
I want to share with you some of the many “Lilyisms” to give you a glimpse of the joy our family shared with baby Lily.
If someone sneezed, from across the room, Lily would blurt out bless you (Nonnie, Nenn,……
if she thought she hurt you somehow by rubbing into you, she would say, “cuze me….” (mommy, daddy)
if you gave her something, she always said: “thank you” Ava, Jayda
she always gave that personal touch – she greeted you by name and she somehow remembered everyone’s name in the room – Lily made everyone know she knew and loved them.
During her morning trips to Stop and Shop or “top and top” as she called it, she made friends with so many patrons. Some elderly lady once shared with Juli that she observed the beautiful bond between mother and daughter while waiting on line and that Lily brought so much joy to her otherwise routine day.
Lily Jo was friends with the manager and cashiers in Stop n Shop even though her shy and somewhat reclusive mother wasn’t.
At music classes, Lily had hugs for all the moms, not just her own and startled them by her affection.
When Lily Jo was hanging with the “big girls” (her sisters Ava and Jayda and their friends), she was in all her glory and every now and then would let out an “oh yea, oh yea”.
If she took a fall, she’d pop up with the words, “I otay”.
Lily Jo was the greeter at the PreK door and all the moms and teachers loved the way she started their day with her contagious smile.
She even befriended the Prek maskot, a dog named Hudson, and would lay on top of him to give him a little affection.
She helped her Popa water his garden by emptying the watering can on her feet and on the driveway.
No stroller for Lily – she had to walk and take it all in.
No watching her sisters play soccer, she needed to rearrange the cones, run around the field and throw rocks.
When I would get in her minivan to run some errands with Juli and Lily, she always reminded me to “bukka mema” making sure I had my seat belt on; and when she needed her grandfather to do something for her, she’d grab his hand and say mon popa, mon bepa.
Juli and Jason were wakened every morning not with the sound of a crying child wanting to be lifted from her crib, but with a little sweet voice singing– oh mommy where arrrre you ?? – daddy milk.
And then the happy day would begin with Juli bringing Lily from her crib to Jason to give her a bottle. Then the little sweetie would give a call to her great-grandpa “bepa” from the top of the stairs, bepa where arrrre you??? waiting for his morning visit. Just a wonderful way to start anyone’s day. If you asked her what her name is or even if you didn’t ask her, she would tell you “I Lily Jo”.
What comes after seven Lily – eight. What comes after “S” Lily – T. She was our entertainment at the dinner table. She made us laugh and burst with joy and pride and amazement.
Her place in her wonderful family with her parents and twin sisters was nothing short of perfect.
Her sisters nurtured her and were so proud of any progress she made in talking and playing and just growing, as she was of anything they did.
Just a few weeks ago at Ava and Jayda’s dance recital, Lily Jo could be heard in the crowd cheering them on “that’s Ava and Jayda” over and over again. Juli and Jason have created a home where they need nothing but each other.
Friday and Saturday nights are all about a ball game on the TV and watching their children play with all the toys strewn around the living room floor.
No babysitters in their lives to go out for dinner without the kids. Juli and Jason just want to be home with their children. And when asked where did daddy go – at wuk; where did bepa go – Florida.
Just Sunday night, Lily asked Jason to rock her to sleep – she said to him “rocka baby daddy”…..Juli found them both asleep on the rocking chair 20 minutes later. What a cherished moment to have!
So now for the lesson in life and faith.
Needless to say Lily’s passing has left a permanent hole in our hearts.
But we do have choices in how we are going to fill that void.
We could fill it with bitterness, hatred, resentment – or - we could fill it with acceptance, love, joy (the kind of joy that Lily had).
I choose….we choose…. the love and the joy our Lily espoused…..
We will all now go forward in love of Lily’s memory; she would have it, and we will have it, no other way.
But most importantly, the only way to feel Lily’s presence in our lives, is to be with God - because Lily is with God.
Her passing will not rock our faith, no it will only strengthen it and bring us closer to God and in turn closer to our beautiful Lily Jo.
There is a light in every dark moment in our lives, our light is all of you who have responded to us with a remarkable outpouring of love – (people from near and far, people we haven’t seen in years) to all of you - know that your thoughts, prayers and support have not, and will not ever be unrecognized by us. We know that all of your gestures of love are the promises that God made to us that we will not be alone – even in our darkest hour. You all are our answered prayers.
In these last few days, so many people spoke to us of the wisdom of God and a dear friend of ours prayed with us in such a special way and she boldly asked God to send us signs that Lily is with God in heaven.
Not even two hours after that prayer, Juli and Jason found out that Lily did not leave us because of the fall from her changing table.
Lily apparently had some kind of medical condition that may have caused her heart to stop beating here on earth.
We may never know what the exact ailment was that took Lily from our grasp, but we do know that the fall did not cause her death.
So, in a unique way you can see God’s plan here – my daughter was so distraught thinking she could have prevented this tragedy - dealing with both grief and guilt – then it’s made known to us that there is no need for the guilt – and as crazy as it sounds – it eased our pain. God’s hand at work!!!!!
We praise You, Lord and we thank You, Lord. And Jesus has taken her hand and said – mon Lily.
We know that God will take you home when you have reached perfection and Lily reached perfection at the tender age of 2.
One of our terms of endearment for Lily is Buddha baby – it may have had something to do with her chubby body, but Jason’s cousin sent him a beautiful quote from Buddha that says “If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.” That single flower is our Lily, Our Lily Jo Jurgens, who, as her mother said, was our sunshine on a cloudy day, has left us to touch the face of God with her own tiny hands…..
She brought out the best in people during her life and will continue to do so even in her passing, and we are so thankful for that.
I want to share with you some of the many “Lilyisms” to give you a glimpse of the joy our family shared with baby Lily.
If someone sneezed, from across the room, Lily would blurt out bless you (Nonnie, Nenn,……
if she thought she hurt you somehow by rubbing into you, she would say, “cuze me….” (mommy, daddy)
if you gave her something, she always said: “thank you” Ava, Jayda
she always gave that personal touch – she greeted you by name and she somehow remembered everyone’s name in the room – Lily made everyone know she knew and loved them.
During her morning trips to Stop and Shop or “top and top” as she called it, she made friends with so many patrons. Some elderly lady once shared with Juli that she observed the beautiful bond between mother and daughter while waiting on line and that Lily brought so much joy to her otherwise routine day.
Lily Jo was friends with the manager and cashiers in Stop n Shop even though her shy and somewhat reclusive mother wasn’t.
At music classes, Lily had hugs for all the moms, not just her own and startled them by her affection.
When Lily Jo was hanging with the “big girls” (her sisters Ava and Jayda and their friends), she was in all her glory and every now and then would let out an “oh yea, oh yea”.
If she took a fall, she’d pop up with the words, “I otay”.
Lily Jo was the greeter at the PreK door and all the moms and teachers loved the way she started their day with her contagious smile.
She even befriended the Prek maskot, a dog named Hudson, and would lay on top of him to give him a little affection.
She helped her Popa water his garden by emptying the watering can on her feet and on the driveway.
No stroller for Lily – she had to walk and take it all in.
No watching her sisters play soccer, she needed to rearrange the cones, run around the field and throw rocks.
When I would get in her minivan to run some errands with Juli and Lily, she always reminded me to “bukka mema” making sure I had my seat belt on; and when she needed her grandfather to do something for her, she’d grab his hand and say mon popa, mon bepa.
Juli and Jason were wakened every morning not with the sound of a crying child wanting to be lifted from her crib, but with a little sweet voice singing– oh mommy where arrrre you ?? – daddy milk.
And then the happy day would begin with Juli bringing Lily from her crib to Jason to give her a bottle. Then the little sweetie would give a call to her great-grandpa “bepa” from the top of the stairs, bepa where arrrre you??? waiting for his morning visit. Just a wonderful way to start anyone’s day. If you asked her what her name is or even if you didn’t ask her, she would tell you “I Lily Jo”.
What comes after seven Lily – eight. What comes after “S” Lily – T. She was our entertainment at the dinner table. She made us laugh and burst with joy and pride and amazement.
Her place in her wonderful family with her parents and twin sisters was nothing short of perfect.
Her sisters nurtured her and were so proud of any progress she made in talking and playing and just growing, as she was of anything they did.
Just a few weeks ago at Ava and Jayda’s dance recital, Lily Jo could be heard in the crowd cheering them on “that’s Ava and Jayda” over and over again. Juli and Jason have created a home where they need nothing but each other.
Friday and Saturday nights are all about a ball game on the TV and watching their children play with all the toys strewn around the living room floor.
No babysitters in their lives to go out for dinner without the kids. Juli and Jason just want to be home with their children. And when asked where did daddy go – at wuk; where did bepa go – Florida.
Just Sunday night, Lily asked Jason to rock her to sleep – she said to him “rocka baby daddy”…..Juli found them both asleep on the rocking chair 20 minutes later. What a cherished moment to have!
So now for the lesson in life and faith.
Needless to say Lily’s passing has left a permanent hole in our hearts.
But we do have choices in how we are going to fill that void.
We could fill it with bitterness, hatred, resentment – or - we could fill it with acceptance, love, joy (the kind of joy that Lily had).
I choose….we choose…. the love and the joy our Lily espoused…..
We will all now go forward in love of Lily’s memory; she would have it, and we will have it, no other way.
But most importantly, the only way to feel Lily’s presence in our lives, is to be with God - because Lily is with God.
Her passing will not rock our faith, no it will only strengthen it and bring us closer to God and in turn closer to our beautiful Lily Jo.
There is a light in every dark moment in our lives, our light is all of you who have responded to us with a remarkable outpouring of love – (people from near and far, people we haven’t seen in years) to all of you - know that your thoughts, prayers and support have not, and will not ever be unrecognized by us. We know that all of your gestures of love are the promises that God made to us that we will not be alone – even in our darkest hour. You all are our answered prayers.
In these last few days, so many people spoke to us of the wisdom of God and a dear friend of ours prayed with us in such a special way and she boldly asked God to send us signs that Lily is with God in heaven.
Not even two hours after that prayer, Juli and Jason found out that Lily did not leave us because of the fall from her changing table.
Lily apparently had some kind of medical condition that may have caused her heart to stop beating here on earth.
We may never know what the exact ailment was that took Lily from our grasp, but we do know that the fall did not cause her death.
So, in a unique way you can see God’s plan here – my daughter was so distraught thinking she could have prevented this tragedy - dealing with both grief and guilt – then it’s made known to us that there is no need for the guilt – and as crazy as it sounds – it eased our pain. God’s hand at work!!!!!
We praise You, Lord and we thank You, Lord. And Jesus has taken her hand and said – mon Lily.
We know that God will take you home when you have reached perfection and Lily reached perfection at the tender age of 2.
One of our terms of endearment for Lily is Buddha baby – it may have had something to do with her chubby body, but Jason’s cousin sent him a beautiful quote from Buddha that says “If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.” That single flower is our Lily, Our Lily Jo Jurgens, who, as her mother said, was our sunshine on a cloudy day, has left us to touch the face of God with her own tiny hands…..
